Seth and bunny ears
They don’t mix well
But if there were, in fact
A time when
Seth had bunny ears
He would, in reality
Not be Seth at all
But rather he would be
A tall stranger
With the strangest ears of all
Months ago I was sorting through my poetry from high school and I found this gem. I don’t remember exactly the context but I think it was Seth, my now husband/then friend, that asked me if he gave me a prompt could I write something happy. This may have had something to do with my poetry often being pretty dark, sad and lonely and he wanted to see me write something more upbeat.
I wanted to share this this week because I’ve been down a darker, sadder path lately and it felt time for something lighter, maybe even something funny. It also feels more true to how my week has been going, in that I’ve been on a staycation and Seth and I have been hanging out at home and just existing together. We’ve even reminisced about the beginnings of our relationship. Which spoiler alert, this did play a tiny part.
We were still just friends when I wrote this but there was definite interest behind that at this point. We didn’t start dating until after I graduated from high school and just before I went off to TN for university. I count us lucky but also intentional that we stayed together for a whole year of long distance dating before we were again living in the same area. It's really a testament to the bond we’d forged. Now we’ve been married for over 10 years and it has only grown better with age.
Seth is the reason, the inspiration behind my renewed writing. If it wasn’t for his example in his science fiction and fantasy books (check those out here) I don’t know that I’d be here at this keyboard writing this post. He’s been through a lot of self-doubt but he keeps writing because it’s his passion. That is what I, too, have found in my writing.
It’s been a long time coming for me to admit that writing sparks my passion. Years of art and graphic design courses and jobs have made me loathe to admit this. But at the forefront of my hesitation and possible denial was my relationship with writing (more on that here). Up until I allowed myself to just write from the heart about my experiences with honesty, vulnerability and kindness (both for myself and others) did I understand the joy of words. And it’s been a struggle to see that writing is writing no matter what you write about.
I had (and still have) some strange ideas of what it means to be a writer. And often it was everything I was not. I’m trying to let go of the shame gremlins and gatekeeping notions that have kept me from finding my passion in the written word. I’m trying to embrace that my writing may, in fact, have a purpose but the best thing for me to do is to keep writing from my heart and soul rather than look for some sign from the universe.
Life is what you make it, and you have the power to find or hide your passion. I think something that has been extremely inspirational of late has been this idea that we should do more things for the pure joy it brings us rather than what skill/talent we bring to bear on it. We don’t need to be good at something but maybe we should have joy/passion for it.
So maybe pick up that hobby that you always wanted to make time for, take that cooking class, IDK. But if you want to do something and you simply enjoy doing it, don’t let performance or perfection get in the way! Maybe find a group of like-minded people. The main, and sometimes sole, reason that I’ve been consistently writing and posting this year has been my Word Raft group (so, so grateful for y’all).
I hope that we all can be a little bit kinder and braver in finding and doing the things that bring us joy.
—A Recovering Design Imposter