thoughts of a recovering design imposter

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Patience, It's More Than a Virtue

Since I quit my last job and started rediscovering my creativity I've run into the issue of patience. What is it and how do I get it? Sure, technically, I know what patience is. There is that saying, "Patience is a virtue," and we are all encouraged to have patience for others and the situation we find ourselves in. But, let me ask you, how do you show yourself patience? Because I sure have trouble even thinking about it sometimes... OK, all the time. But the truth is that I need self-patience. There is no way to get to a place of self-love without it. There is no creativity either.


It Wasn't Always This Way

I find it strange that I went through life for a long time believing that I was fine; that I'd always be fine, underneath it all. Honestly, I think I felt like I had to be fine. I spent my teenage/college years figuring out who I wanted to be, cultivating, growing, having some patience for myself (if not always others...sorry, Mom). But now, really trying to come into my own as an adult, I feel like I'm having to figure it out all over again; to start over. And, this time, I've misplaced the self-patience of my youth and expect that it should be easy, quick, and...what is taking so long and why is this so hard?!

Why are these issues manifesting as an adult, why were they, seemingly, non-issues previously? I'm sure that lack of self-patience is connected to many things in my life/background. I've speculated that, maybe, it wasn't well-modeled for me growing up, or that, maybe, my inner voice doesn't allow for such, given that it's more important to show others patience. But I have no real answers for why now and why it never happened like this previously. All I know is that I'm here now and trying to expand my horizons, learn cool, new things, and cultivate my self-patience...again.


The Journey is Sometimes Long... Hopefully There is Beauty Along the Way

This journey in some ways is only just beginning, but in others it's been long and had many detours that I'd not expected, nor wanted, really. In the end, though, the detours are usually edifying and character-building. And that is the beauty I've found along mine. This last week, I've come to some amount of peace with my patience for self. I'm not entirely sure what happened or how. Probably all the things I've been learning and trying are paying off. It always seems to work like that. I find a book, podcast, or other information right when it's needed, and I don't realize it until I've moved forward and notice that, somehow, there is a peace or understanding that wasn't there before. Patience is the key, here. I've been able to actually put patience into practice for myself in ways that I was never able to before. Realizing that it's okay to take time, I don't need to be busy all the time. If it doesn't happen when my plans say it should, that is okay! Have patience, and it will happen as long as it's a priority. I've further realized that I absolutely need patience to actually see the beauty of the adventure, rather than wanting to rush to the end; to get to the the "good" stuff.


Embrace the Adventure

I encourage us all to embrace our journey, to cultivate the patience to see it through, and to really see the silver linings in the process. The biggest thing, and the thing this post is all about, is patience. It's not just for showing other people or dealing with a situation. It's also important in our dealings with ourselves; our goals, dreams, and aspirations. Just like I'm trying to show patience to my creative rediscovery along my journey, we all can try to have peace, even when things don't go the way we hope or plan. Life is a strange thing, and sometimes it definitely has a mind of it's own. No amount of pushing or insisting will change the direction. Maybe it's trying to tell you something? Who knows, but having the patience to see where it takes you is liberating.

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