The Wholehearted & Beautifully FUNCTIONAL Blog

— thoughts of a recovering design imposter —

The Way is NOT Shut

Having a different perspective, now, I’ve noticed that for a long time the way was shut for me. And it was sealed tight. I often thought that it was something outside myself that was shutting the way, and sometimes it was, but what I’m finding, looking back, is that it was most often me that was shutting my way.


The pursuit of certain things was outside of my ability because I thought it so. The thought of change, of challenge, while I sometimes wanted it, desperately at times, terrified me. And in that terror I saw the way closed. I was not taught to dream. I was taught to be realistic, and realism meant that there would only be so much that I was able and/or allowed to do with my life.


Creativity requires the way to be open, the mind willing and the spirit strong. Doing isn’t for the faint of heart, it requires much of the doer and much challenge to overcome. And realism said that those things were unsafe and unrealistic.


So, in my pursuit of happiness I’ve found that the way is not shut, not really. I’ve just been letting fear and realism navigate for me rather than seeing that if I wanted to try/do something, I could. All I needed was to make it so.


Just because something doesn’t come out right the first time doesn’t mean that it isn’t meant to be. Just because something will take time to cultivate and/or learn doesn’t mean that it cannot be (even if it will be years in the making). Just because you don’t know how to do it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it.


These are the lessons I’m learning through the pursuit of my happiness. Creativity is absolutely necessary. Willingness to fail, fail, fail and try, try, try again is vital. Most importantly is that happiness isn’t always happy and pursuit requires challenge and change.


Fear will always, as I’ve learned, be a companion along the journey but it’s important that you don’t let it drive, you will go nowhere you want to be if fear has the wheel.


Today I have many irons in the fire, so to speak, things that I would have never thought or dreamed I’d consider and/or pursue. Many of them will not see the light of day for a long time, maybe even years but the fact that I am moving towards them is one of the most joyful and liberating things I’ve known. I’m saying yes, and?


How about you, do you find the way forward shut for seemingly weird and arbitrary reasons?


PS. Here is a boot I drew recently. It is a picture of a real and true achievement for me. I proved to myself that I could and did draw a kick-ass boot and in a front view that required foreshortening, no less. I will say this proudly: it’s dope! This, to me, was what had shown me that I'd inadvertently unlocked the way forward for myself. I didn’t necessarily do anything special outside of intentionally pursuing happiness and creativity, so I think you, too, can find your own way to open your way forward.



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